Good LORD, right?
I want some gotdamn chocolate now. Sigh.
As a paranormal erotic romance writer from a male pov, I have to know the answer to the topic question rather intimately. After much research, there is one answer I got from a man (who chooses to remain anonymous) that just BLEW ME AWAY.
I asked him if it was okay if I shared it, and he said YES. (Caps MINE because I am excited) I’ll refer to him as Mr. Wonderful in this blog.
Of course everybody is different and experiences vary in intensity and response, I’m sure. But this was his answer:
Mr. Wonderful: You know that feeling when all your hairs stand on end and electricity charges your skin? Concentrate all that feeling into the most sensitive part of your body and you begin to get an idea of what an erect phallus feels like just before orgasm. The flesh is charged, tensed, pulled taut – not just the surface or the rigid phallus itself, but deeply inside the pelvis and body as well, and at the chest and throat. There is a smooth, sudden sense of a powerful rising, of gliding forward at the cusp of a tremendous wave. The scrotum and testicles contract upwards, clenching like a fist against the turgid perineum, and the wave begins to crest and fall forward onto itself in a rush of sound and pressure. If all the sap that rises into a sugar maple at the start of Spring were to flood up the trunk in a few seconds, it would feel like this. The sensation gathers and rises and floods outward, and all the muscles spasm and push with its flowing. The pressure pushes forward and out from the hips, gliding as smooth as a wave up onto a smooth sandy beach, spreading outward and slowly losing intensity while expanding in area. The muscles begin to relax. As they do so, you finally begin to be aware of your heartbeat pounding in your ears and the harsh rasp of your breathing.
That was his first response. Of course this merely whet my appetite and created questions. Our exchange went something like this:
Little Miss Erotica: How does one control that orgasm, can you describe this, because I’m often have my male pulling back that wave you describe.
Mr. Wonderful: Control is the wrong word, I think, but yes, a skilled lover can delay the moment of orgasm by consciously slowing down the pace of his thrusts, and by relaxing those muscles…especially the internal ones. Look up the Kegel muscle: men clench that muscle during thrusts and especially during orgasm, and consciously trying to relax it can hold off an imminent orgasm. To use the wave metaphor, going “loose” and adjusting the angle of penetration so the friction is less intense will hold that incipient wave back a little. Breathing consciously also seems to help create a little space between oneself and that incoming wave of orgasm. It really does feel like the wave recedes backwards a bit when you make adjustments to delay orgasm.
Little Miss Erotica:wow, i’m just so amazed really. So not control so much but pulling away from that which is driving it forward. Which would be what, speed? Pressure?
Mr. Wonderful: Strangely, I always have the feeling that the wave of orgasm is always out there, behind me, somewhere out of sight but rolling relentlessly toward me – and only by loosening my muscles, slowing down my thrusts or adjusting the angle of penetration will keep it from rolling right over me. What drives that wave forward is not so much speed or pressure (though it IS those things as well) but rather that sense of relentless inevitability.
I did return the favor and explain to the best of my ability, what an orgasm feels like for a woman. I’ll put that post up next week (anonymously) haha.
P.S. If there are any men who happen upon this blog and have *extra* stuff to add to our “make orgasm” resource list for writers, PLEASE DO.